Late Night Ry

I remember my first week in California. “The state of dreams”

Excited, followed by more excitement I WAS IN CaLiFoRnia baby!

It had been 3 months since my last date and I could hardly wait to start dating again.

If swiping left and right failed me in the Midwest, would it be any different on the West Coast? A new city with new faces, I remained optimistic in my search for love.

With 5 days nearly under my belt, I moved in to my new home, started my new job and had 2 dates lined up for the weekend!

Ryan was the first face I met in San Francisco. Tall, dark and handsome, he was originally from Ohio and had lived in the bay area for 7 years. I liked the idea of meeting another Midwesterner with similar tastes and background. There was a sense of familiarity in an unfamiliar city.

Our first date was at a fancy steakhouse in walking distance from my office. Google maps were printed and in hand when we met on a Friday night at a small, very dim yet elegant steakhouse. Little scents of cedar wood and the noise from crackling fireplaces embraced our surrounding. In the background you could hear the bottle shaker from the bar and sensational smells escaping the kitchen nearby. We both smiled, as I giggled nervously and he held my gaze as we started chatting over the menu. The waitress interrupted our chatter at least 3 times before we finally agreed on no talking until we had decided on what we were ordering.

Laughing and smiling hours later with our bellies full of steak, seafood and creamy mac and cheese we left the dim steakhouse and wandered a few blocks to a bar. The bar was this tiny old rustic place with too many knick knacks and not enough chairs. Ryan informed me that the bar had been used to film some scenes for Reese Witherspoon’s movie Just Like Heaven.

A few beers later, I realized it was already after midnight! Normally, this would not be an issue except in the big city, the subway stops running at 12 o’clock. I felt like Cinderella, having lost my slipper in the city of San Francisco. Ryan assured me it was fine, he had rented a car and would drive me the 45 minutes to my new home in the suburbs. When we got in the car, I had only one request.

“Can we drive over the Golden Gate Bridge?”

Ryan replied, “of course we can.”

 

A Letter From The Editor

And the Dating continues….

“He Had Me at Pinot” is a wrap of my dates in the Midwest. What a fun and bumpy ride, experiencing more things than I had ever imagined.

After a 4 year relationship and loosing my best friend who knows me better than I know myself. He dumped me, saying “I just dont see you at the end of the alter, you’re not the one for me.”

I knew that when I started dating again, the world had changed. The standards were different and it was going to be horrible. I just didnt know the type of journey that was ahead of me and the process it was going to take to find someone special.

I invite you to continue on this journey with me, Cali style!

That’s right, I am taking online dating to the West coast and I am looking forward to sharing more stories with you all.

-Miss Single

He had me at Pinot’

Matt* and I met at our local Starbucks, everyone likes a Sunday morning coffee date!

He was about 6 feet tall, blonde hair with blue eyes, hung over from the night before in the city, but I didn’t mind. Everyone in their twenties goes out every now and again to enjoy themselves. At least he showed up on time to meet me since he lived an hour away.

Matt was in wine sales, a young professional with a witty mouth. Cute and polite but sharp at the same time. I liked Matt after our initial meeting; it went well to say the least. Coffee kept us both awake and the conversation flowed as he told me about his job in wine sales and growing up in the state of Michigan, what college was like for him and moving to another state for his career.

After our meeting, a few hours later he text me,

“I enjoyed our time together, but I feel awful about being hung over. Please let me take you on a proper date this Friday?”

I couldn’t help but feel excited, I had passed round 1 and he even let me pick the restaurant for our next date.

The following Friday, was the most fun I have had in a long time, since starting to date online. The food was delicious, the beer was crisp, and our laughter contagious, even our waiter couldn’t help but chime in once we told him it was our 1st date. Smiles and chatter, mixed with moans of pleasure from the delicious pork nachos. Who could resist? It was a perfect evening!

Matt and I continued to date weekly, him driving the hour to see me or sometimes I would drive his way.

Finally! It was here, I was starting to date someone. I loved every bit of it.

The grocery store runs to buy wine and ingredients for fajitas at dinner. Sometimes we would stay in our pajamas, ordering pizza and watching TV all night. I even tried rock climbing for the first time. I enjoyed holding hands while walking to a local pub and all the little things that make a girl smile, my smile was shining bright.

Our dates continued week after week for a couple months. I noticed however, that when talking with my friends, and telling them about this guy named Matt I was dating, they would want to see his picture. I used my cellphone to get online and show my friends his picture; however each time I logged in, the app would show the last time your match was online. Every time I did this, Matt had been online within a few days. I got that sinking feeling in my stomach, not wanting to question “why is he still online if we’re almost exclusive?”

I felt like I couldn’t get upset since we hadn’t discussed becoming exclusive.

Finally one evening over a glass of wine, I brought it up. I asked him, if we were basically dating why he still felt the need to use the dating app to talk to other women. He tried to lie at first, denying that he was still using the app to date. He said it was a glitch in the program.

A few weeks later, I asked again. This time, I already knew the answer. He liked spending time with me, but I wasn’t REALLY his type. I was filling in the lonely holes, and providing him emotional support like a girlfriend would. He admitted that I wasn’t the girl for him, and although he liked going on dates with me, he was still interested in finding someone he was crazy about.

A month went by after we stopped seeing each other. I text him to tell him I was job hunting out of state and would most likely be moving soon. He told me he met another girl online, he really liked her and so he deleted the app. She was the girl, the girl that was enough to make him commit.

I wished him good luck, but still wondered…

Will I ever be that girl for someone?

 

The Guy from Philly or The Philly Cheesesteak?

Andrew* was from Philadelphia and had recently taken a promotion to work in sales in my pretty little city.

Do you know the game? Swipe left, swipe right then BOOM it’s a match! The newest dating app has begun taking over the world providing users with an experience that is almost as addicting as an Xbox game.

There was something about Andrew that was intriguing, was it the glasses or the way he talked? This happy go lucky, “I don’t care what anyone thinks because I’m from Philly, wasssup? How you doin?” type of attitude would make any girl laugh and wonder… “Alright, what is this guy all about?”

Andrew and I met in the hipster/artsy area of town at this quaint little restaurant known for its cheese plates and array of brews. It had white Christmas lights swaying in the sky under the moon and stars above our heads. A band played and we sat at a little outside patio table for two. Talking, laughing, flirting and getting to know one another while trying different cheese and meats, gulping our drinks when the concoction was not sweet. The sky grew dark as the time passed and the accompanying tables around us full of once laughter became quiet.

After such a great night, when Andrew mentioned he lived close and that I could come over for a movie, I didn’t decline.

It was Friday and why not? We were having a great time!

His apartment was modern and new, stained appliances, glass and wooden accents. The place had a Seattle feel in the heart of downtown.

We sat down to watch a movie, but after a few minutes it became apparent that the movie was not what he had intended by inviting me over for “a movie.”

I asked him if we were going to watch that movie (because I legitimately wanted to watch a freaking movie) but he said he wanted to do something else with our time.

As the moves came in like an errupting volcano the only thing I could think of was uh-oh, crap, how do I get out of this mess. This was not my intention.

Finally after getting frustrated with the unwanted moves I exclaimed,

“If you don’t keep your hands off me, I am going to get up and leave and you’ll never see me again. Please behave, I came over to spend more time with you and watch a movie.”

He stated, “You’re over reacting, please don’t leave. I’m sorry. I want to spend time with you.”

I calmed down and sank back into the couch. “What was it the beer? Too much alcohol? We were having a fun time,” my brain chugged starting to question the evening.

Then he started again..

I got up from the couch, picked up my purse and shoes and said “Clearly you and I want different things, get back online and find someone that wants what you’re looking for tonight, because it’s not me.”

He said, “What did you think was going to happen?”

I said, “Uh watch a movie, maybe cuddle a little”

He said, “Well you were wrong, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!”

 

That was it. I learned my lesson. Silly and naïve me, Never go over to “watch a movie” and always choose the Philly Cheesesteak over the guy from Philly.

 

 

 

 

Aloha, My Hawaiian

David* just got released from the Navy after being stationed in Hawaii for a few years.

We met online of course, as he started making his way back into the dating scene.

He had dark brown eyes, dark hair and a hazelnut colored tan from the island’s sun. He talked about his goal of opening a gym franchise and recently moving back to the states.

Most dating sites let the user upload so many photos, but if your smart..you’ll also Google your matches name. I found his other social media sites which had the same pictures and proved he was single. I thought I was golden after doing my research to make sure I wasn’t going to be “cat fished” or meet a “cheater.”

Well, I was wrong. David and I met up the week of Christmas at a local mall. I didn’t mind helping him shop for some last minute gifts, we were in a public place and it would be low key to stroll through the mall while I offered my advice on items for his family.

My first impression of David was that he did not look like his pictures…AT ALL :/ He was about 30-40 lbs overweight from the old pictures he had used. I tried my best to not act surprised about his image when I gave him a polite hug, “hello.”

When I should have confronted the fact that he had lied about who he was (image wise) I should have left the mall. I didn’t, part of me felt bad and wanted to hear his story. We walked through the mall and I helped him pick out some gifts. After our shopping adventure…he asked if I wanted to get something to eat.

I said, “nah…I’m not hungry. I think I’ll just head out.”

He looked disappointed but I couldn’t stand to have conversation over dinner with someone who lied about their image.

We hugged goodbye and I left.

I got in my car and called my best friend… “Hello…How did it go?”

“OMG, he was overweight and lied about how much he was into fitness and wanting to open a gym etc..then he asked me to go grab dinner and I just couldn’t do it so I lied and said I wasn’t hungry!! I am STARVING and going to hit McDonald’s drive-thru”

Too Metro- a thing?

Dear followers,

I have described this type of fella before, in my Cheerleader post.

Apparently there has got to be a trend where straight men are boarder line too metro sexual and it causes me as their date to question their sexuality.

I recently started a new dating app that connects you with people in your geographic region. It works with the GPS system in your smartphone. Creepy, yet innovative.

Anthony* and I matched on this new dating website. He agreed that the protocol was a little odd and wondered how long he had to wait to ask me on a date. I assumed he was obviously an online dating “newbie” so I caught him up to speed.

“Chill, Relax, Go with your gut and if the conversation is there, then ask the girl out.”

Well he asked, so I accepted.

We met for drinks and appetizers a few days later after work.

He was shorter than I expected, probably 5’6-5’7. I had at least hoped for 5’9 on the short end because I do like my men much taller. I’m 5’5 so if I want to wear heels, height matters to me.

He was attractive, but very polished. Too polished for my liking. Not a wrinkle or a crinkle in his clothes, his shoes were perfectly shined, his teeth professionally whitened and almost manicured fingernails.

We sat down and had a lovely time laughing and carrying on. But the spark was not there, no click, just a fun time that seemed very “friend zone” from my perspective.

The questions I asked, he failed just about every one.

No relationship with his family, recently single, loved his job, friendly, but the way he spoke almost with a lisp and the way he was dressed was too primped and polished for the type of man I am looking for.

 

The Mile High Club (Finale)

Finally it was my turn to board the plane to Charlotte

As we started to board and I waited in line for the people ahead to grab their seats, I felt another pair of wandering eyes on me.

No surprise, it was my breasts again. My dress had popped open once more exposing that (mind of its own) light pink, lacy bra from Victoria Secret.

Slowly, my gaze met the face of my ogler.

A poor old man sitting in first class who’s face turned as red as mine as I exclaimed, “Oh my gosh!” and clutched shut the gaping part of my blue dress. While I quickly buttoned, he laughed and embarrassed, said stammering, “you, um. Look quite nice”

I mumbled a “thank you” and the long line began to move forward to our seats.

My seatmate was nice, polite and a southern gentleman. He worked out and had muscles to show for it.  I lied once more about my whereabouts as we chatted lightly through the air.

An hour later, as we started to descend from the sky, I felt my breathing increase and I had sweated profusely the whole way. I felt as though the back of my dress was soaked and tried to discreetly fan it with the waving of my hand.

My seatmate noticed my sudden uneasiness and asked if I had a fear of flying. I laughed and said “no.”

Then there it went, like word vomit I blurted my whole secret. I AM ABOUT TO MEET A MAN I HAVE NEVER MET BEFORE, WE MET ONLINE AND I AM FLYING TO MEET HIM. I HOPE I DO NOT DIE!!

He laughed and smiled, “you’ll be fine, he’s crazy if he’s not into you. I sat next to you for 1 hour and even I know that.”

I smiled and exhaled a big thank you 🙂

As we deplaned, I text Brad* that I had arrived safely and asked if he was near. My phone began to go off like a time bomb as my family and friends wanted to know if I landed safely.

As I walked through the airport, I felt so nervous, my stomach was in knots but I was beyond excited to meet this man. I couldn’t believe the moment we had been waiting for was finally here! I did have to tell myself to keep breathing until I made my way out to the pick-up area.

Brad* told me to look for a black hummer, and there he was.

Tall, dark and ever so handsome just like his photos. He hugged me hello, his large biceps capturing my face and squeezing my body tight. He grabbed my luggage and hurled it into the hummer like he was the hulk.

It was truly, marvelous

Our meeting